Mosiac

Work has been eating up the rest of my life like A Very Hungry Caterpillar, hence no posts here of late.

I often have ideas for posts fizzing in my head, but so rarely have the chance to sit down and write them.

Nafs. Mine are sadly sturdy and well-fed creatures, but lately, they’ve not just been running the show but wearing military uniform and having parades in their honour. As the summer light causes the prayer times to slide apart, opportunities for revolt abound.

Fajr is obedience. Not only awakening from the sweetest sleep, but getting up, splashing water then standing, bowing, sujood and sitting. I do this for me, but more then this, I do it for Him, to start the day with the right hand angel writing.

Tonight I came home wanting to eat and set my brain adrift from the comfort of the sofa, but it was time to pray. I made myself go and make wudu, then pray.

It was not the best prayer. My recitation was faster then it should be, concentration lacking, for I am a poor servant, easily distracted, eating bread at the circuses. Yet, by the end I am sitting feeling the honour of the prayer, the joy of the connection.

Al Halim, let my heart be Yours always

Cult Friction

At my old job, a while ago, we were sitting watching the tv in the staff room. The news was on, and one of the stories featured Sarkozy. Involuntarily, I grimace.
A colleague asks me, “So you’re not a fan of Sarkozy then?”.
“Definitely not. I’m just glad I’m not a French Muslim.”
“I can understand that”.
“Yeah, I have to say, the U.K is definitely a good place be Muslim, compared to most countries in Europe.”
“Then why do we have such violent extremists here?”
“I don’t know… I don’t understand it at all”.

I didn’t know what else to say. His question was a valid one and I did not know how to answer it.

I have to point out something that is very obvious, but rarely stated:

Violent extremists are just as frightening and perturbing to Muslims as they are to Non-Muslims, because they care as little for the lives of other Muslims as they do for anyone else. To them, we are either not true believers, or we should be happy to die.

Indeed, death will come to us all, as Allah the Almighty and Glorious wills it, but it’s fair to say that I don’t want to be blown to bits while sitting on a bus and I’m sure my coreligionists feel similarly.

So why do these people attempt or carry out such violent acts? Firstly, I do not accept U.K foreign policy as a valid excuse or justification. The vast majority of the U.K people are opposed to the Iraq and to intervention in Afghanistan. The 15/02/03 protect against the Iraq war was the largest in U.K history. I was there and can testify to how colossal it was.

I’m tired of whataboutery. We know our deen. Injustice in Iraq, Palestine or anywhere else will not be stopped by a burning car at Glasgow airport. Such acts are not just futile, they are gravely sinful. The vast, overwhelming majority of Muslims know this, so why are some deluded into thinking otherwise?

The key phrase here is deluded. Their mind has been deceived, twisted. How has this happened?

Brother Tariq Nelson and Brother Hood, both wrote excellent posts about the cult mentality of some Muslims and Muslim movements.

Recently, at a programme of presentations aimed at converts to Islam, I attended a talk by a charity called the Cult Information Centre (CIC). The talk focused on what a cult is and their techniques of psychological coercion. The congruence with cases of suicide/attempted suicide bombers were astounding.

CIC defines psychological coercion as having two basic principles:

1. If you can make a person BEHAVE the way you want, you can make that person BELIEVE the way you want.

2. Sudden, drastic changes in environment lead to heightened suggestibility and to drastic changes in attitudes and beliefs.

So what now? I think a key is to educate our young about the dangers of such groups and thinking. Just saying “These actions are haraam”, is not enough, we must equip our community to recognise the tactics of such groups and why they are dangerous.

Some people at the talk were unhappy that a non-Muslim was talking about such things to Muslims. It’s seen as dirty laundry. Well this ‘dirty laundry’ affects everyone and we need to fix it, without squeamishness or short cuts.

Three years + of being a Muslim….

… and I still can’t sit still on the floor for long periods of time. There are children in the mosque who fidget less then me. Legs crossed, legs folded, legs tucked underneath - pins and needles, must stretch legs, legs straight out in front. Hope no-one thinks I’m being rude by pointing my soles at them. Try to wangle feet so they point away. Feet get cramp from being at such an odd angle. Cross legs and repeat cycle.

Ah dear blog I have missed you. I have lots of ideas but very little time and what I want to write I feel like I need to sit down and take my time over and… see my sparkly crown? I wear it because I’m the queen of procrastination.

So in lieu of writing an actual post, I’m updating my blogroll.

New additions are:

# Abu Sinan
# Darvish
# Dictator Princess
# Impossibly Blue Skies
# Jamerican Muslimah
# Lucky Fatima
# Mama Mona
# Mother of One
# Multicultural Muslimah
# Muse
# Saudi Stepford Wife
# Sweep the Sunshine

I do love the islamiblogosphere. Masha Allah, there are some amazing writers and minds out there.

If you would like to be added to my blogroll, let me know. Note, everyone gets a comment by their link (hover the cursor over to read it). It generally involves alliteration, because I have a childlike fascination with it.

Scribbles not Outlines 3 plus blogging about blogging

My cable package now includes the FX channel which is about to show the new seasons of Dexter and NCIS. Woo-hoo!

Further on the trashy tv tip, We watched the first episode of Dirty, Sexy Money last night. It looks good and will probably fall into the category of “T.V I talk to my Mum about”.

Donald Sutherland plays one of the main characters in the above programme. The man is 72 and looks fantastic. I’ve googled ‘Donald Sutherland plastic surgery’ and nothing incriminating came up, so I will presume it’s natural. Time has given him such an interesting face. I’m tired of watching actresses whose faces don’t move. Such butchery makes me feel nauseous and sabotages any attempt at emoting.

Aging is an inevitable process, so I wish we could embrace it’s beauty rather then railing against it. Why fear getting older?

When asked if she was frightened about becoming 40, Elle MacPherson (yes, wisdom comes from all sources on this blog) stated, “Well the alternative is not turning 40 (i.e dying), and that’s far more frightening.” Indeed.

Sad news from the States, being nice about Muslims is not a vote winner - all candidates.

Gossip folks! No, this doesn’t involve any celebrities. To think, people see gossip as a female foible.

Help wanted - I want to add some items to my blog’s sidebar (new comments, recent posts, e.t.c). Anyone out there with WordPress savvy? Done! Jazak Allahu Khayran and hijab flutter to iMuslim

It would appear that British food is the Millwall of global cuisine.

Finally, I wrote this as a comment on Umar Lee’s blog, but I wanted to repost it here:

What it comes down to is that the Ummah is flowing with haterade and we can see this oh so clearly on the Muslim blogosphere.

It takes many forms. Outright insults, to digs in the guise of piety or enjoying the good. Some people cannot praise anything, without first insulting something else.

I’m sure everyone here reading this, knows already knows that we are meant to make 70 excuses for our brothers and sisters.

Words have power and that includes the power to hurt.

Blog constructively people. If you have a problem with what someone has written, either email them so you can relay your concerns in private or when you write your comment take care to critique the words and not the person. Alternatively, let it go. Is it really that important?
Do not write a ton of insults, or just as bad, write a thinly veiled denunciation on your own blog which is obviously about them. The Islamiblogosphere is small and everyone will know who you are talking about.

I address this advice to myself before anyone else.

I’ve seen and read a lot of hurt feelings on the interwebs and so much of it comes down to people not extending each other basic courtesy. Be nice folks.

Meme: Things better left unsaid.

Saw this on Ali’s blog and it resonated with a few things I’ve been thinking about lately. My list seems rather negative, but then I find positive things are easier to say.

1) I never realised until recently what it must have taken you to write that letter. I was the stupid one, not you, but I didn’t know that then.

2)I wish we had said goodbye properly. I appreciate everything you did and I hope that you are happy.

3)I admire you so much. You are still one of the people I look up to most. I try to tell you that, but I don’t think you really believe me.

4) Even though you are sincere and mean well, you are wrong in so many ways. I hope you realise that one day.

5)It’s such a shame you had to open your mouth and be so rude. It’s a shame for you though, not us.

6) I don’t know why you cannot be happy for me, but until then, I don’t want to be in contact with you.

7) I’m giving you a pat answer because it’s too personal to share with someone I hardly know and even if I did explain it, I don’t think you would understand.

It was me. Something I ate is obviously disagreeing with me. Sorry.

Btw, none of these are addressed to Mr Outlines. Strange as it seems, I tell him everything. Even if I don’t want to, my mouth opens and the words spill out.

Outlines Review: White Girl 10/03/08 BBC2

White Girl begins with the desperate move of a mother and her three children to an Asian area of Bradford in order to escape her violent husband.

Leah (an outstanding performance by Holly Kenny), 11 years old and the eldest child is the titular white girl. Her mum is an alcoholic and she bears much of the responsibility for her younger brother and sister. Initially, she feels alienated within the community, but gradually she befriends her asian next door neighbour. As she does so, she discovers more about Islam, until she converts, an action which brings her into direct conflict with her family.

I absolutely loved this film. With realistic dialogue and performances, more then any other drama dealing with similar subject matter, it showed the solace and joy of faith.  To non-Muslims, it can be baffling to outsiders why people become Muslim and why, even in the face of opposition from their loved ones, coverts feel it’s a belief and a way of live that they cannot leave.

Minor quibbles would be that one character said ” Allah, Peace be upon him” which is obviously incorrect. The modern soundtrack was also a tad obtrusive at times (but then I have a Dogme 95 view of music in films) and there was some unnecessary nudity.

As a convert, although, Alhamdulilah, my personal circumstances were not nearly as dire as Leah’s, I definitely could relate to her feeling and actions. As the time period since conversion increases, it is easy to forget the struggles and often loneliness which initially follow conversion. White Girl was a reminder for me of all that had happened since my conversion and how thankful I am.

You can watch the film online here 

Scribbles not Outlines 2

It’s all about hair…

Um Outlines came to visit and of course we went shopping. While wandering around a posh department store, we spotted a threading booth. I have never had any threading done but I’d heard it’s good. Plus, my eyebrows were so unruly, they were on the verge of being slapped with an ASBO. So we both sat in a chair and let the therapists get to work. It’s a weird sensation, but bearable.

When she was finishing off my brows, the lady said, “Would you like your upper lip done too?”

“Is it that bad?”, I replied.

“Well… the hairs are quite long”.

I do attend to this area from time to time, but admittedly the last time I had done so, could only be described as long ago.

(Burning with shame) “Ok then”.

I’m not sure if I was being a big baby, but it was sore - My eyes were watering!

However, I was very pleased with the end result. I whisked my Mum away before she could be persuaded to shell out for an overpriced bottle of Aloe Vera gel. She also had to feel my top lip and feel how smooth it was:

“Very nice dear. Better then that time you bleached it, that looked awful”*.

One of the downsides of wearing hijab is the difficulty in getting a decent haircut.

Not to be too descriptive, but sans hijab, I was starting to look like a Fraggle. After an aborted trip to the hairdressers, I’d had enough.

I washed my hair, brushed it out and pointed to my husband how short I wanted it.

Mr Outlines is a meticulous sort anyway and the owner of a neatly-trimmed goatie, so I figured he’d be able to cut hair in a straight line.

Result! Job done in a few minutes and without all that hair-tugging hairdressers do.^

Can some decent films be released please? I’ve forgotten what the inside of a cinema looks like. There’s not even much I want to get out on dvd. Suggestions welcome.

Book suggestions are also always welcome.

Some of us Muslims are a tad cynical, thinking that there’s no bad stereotype that the media wouldn’t use.

Here’s a banned car advert: YouTube.
Worth getting a Yellow Card for:

Taken from ummahpulse
Donate, make du’a, educate yourself, educate others and remember that nothing is infinite except Allah Subhannahu wa ta’ala.

*Bleaching does look bad. I’m not sure why anyone does it. It always makes me think of Lanugo hair, especially when people bleach the hair on their arms. My excuse was that I was young, foolish and frightened. It wasn’t until I went into a beauty salon and saw the range of areas that they wax that I realised how much facial hair removal goes on.

^I have a microscopic pain threshold when it comes to my hair. I cannot bear for anyone else to brush it, except me. One of the main reasons I hate going to the hairdressers. Yes, I am odd.

Where the Muslimahs are

They’re shopping in Primark. I was in there on Saturday and there were dozens of us.

Where I lived before, there was a small but diverse Muslim community. Walking about the city centre, you would see a few sisters in hijab, but no more then that.

I’m now living in a city with a sizeable Muslim population. When I first arrived here, as soon as I stepped out of the station I passed by a group of sisters who gave me Salaams with beautiful smiles. I got in a taxi and the driver was also Muslim.

So much is written about Muslim women and it doesn’t just make our religion sound ugly, it makes us sound ugly too. Dowdy, battered, oppressed. There aren’t many positive adjectives attached to us.

That is why I love seeing Muslim women in public. I love seeing the diversity of our skins, all shades. The variety of dress from abayas, to Western clothes in layers. Dupattas and denim, trainers and sparkly sandals. Hijabs that are precisely pinned or cleverly wrapped. Sisters that don’t wear hijab, but always have a prayer outfit tucked away in their bag. I love that we are here, No matter what they say, what they write, how they stare, We are here, living our lives. Just like you…but Muslim.

I love my beautiful sisters and I am proud to be among them.

Scribbles not Outlines 1

A weekly (or whenever I feel like it) miscellany:

Mouth ulcers are really, really sore. I had two last week. There is just no need to experience that much discomfort in your mouth.

After hearing so much fuss, I’ve rented the first season of The Wire. I’ll let you know if it’s any good or not.

Brad Renfro was left out of the ‘Death Reel’ at the Oscars. I always liked him and really hoped he would make it through his problems. Sadly it wasn’t to be. Drugs are crap. There’s more I could write about that, but that’s what it boils down to.

Ya’ani, Abu Sinan is back in the blogosphere! Ru7 and have a look akhi/Ukhti

I think I’m going to buy a new mobile phone. Any suggestions?

Several news stories made me feel like this.

I recently tried Iranian ice cream. It was a very pleasant mix of creamy/rosey/nutty. I wanted to find out where ice cream originated from. According to Wiki, different forms of ice cream have been made all over the world for centuries. I find that fact to be strangely uplifting. Also, I found out there is such a thing as fried ice cream(!). Has anyone got a recipe for this? (LuckyFatima and Umm Farouq, I know you both love cooking, have you heard of this?).

As this is a random post I thought I’d post a photo I’ve wanted to stick on my blog for ages. Long time readers will know that my admiration of Ms Tymoshenko stretches back a long way.

Alhamdulilah for everything!

The Damage Done - Updated 26/02/28

Last month, Brad Renfro and Heath Ledger, two extremely talented actors, each died from a drug overdose.

Today Steven Wright was convicted of the murders of Gemma Adams, Tania Nicol, Anneli Alderton, Paula Clennell and Annette Nicholls. All of the women were killed while working as prostitutes. Like 95% of prostitutes in the U.K, they worked as prostitutes in order to fund their drug addiction.*

The pernacious nature of substance abuse is such that it affects all sectors of society. Most people know at least one person who is/was an addict. I can look at my high school year photograph and point to several people who became heroin addicts (crack had yet to reach my home town then.).

The tragedy of drug addiction is that it obliterates you. Your personality, integrity family relationships, friends, work, study. It takes over your existence and then it takes your life.

I grew up with the “Just Say No” and “Heroin Screws You Up” messages. Since then, drugs have become even cheaper and more readily available then ever before. When I was a teenager, cocaine was for the rich, now everyone can afford it every weekend.

Not everyone who experiments with drugs becomes addicted, in all honesty, many are unscathed.

However, for those who are not so fortunate, they enter the murky world of criminality and various treatment programmes of varying effectiveness and accessibility.

How can we stop people becoming addicts and if that fails, how can we treat drug addiction?

I don’t know what the solution is, just that we seem as far from it as ever.

*2004 ‘Paying the Price’ Home Office Consultation paper.

*******

Women working as prostitutes are frequently the victims of violence. Wright was not the first serial killer to prey on sex workers.

The media coverage throughout the case has been laudable in humanising the victims, for indeed their lives and descent into drug addiction was as tragic as their deaths.

For many people street prostitiutes fall even below the scope of pity. Sadly this means they frequently exist outside of any available help or support too.

From their tragic deaths, a dialogue has opened about why people are driven to sell their bodies and how they can be helped to leave the streets. It is to be hoped that this dialogue continues and organisations are given the funding and support they deserve.

I used to live near a red light district. At any time of the day there would be women stood waiting for customers. In good weather they wore short skirts and knee high boots, leggings or tight jeans when it was cold. Their faces spoke of what they needed the money for. Crack, heroin and unhappiness are anti beauty treatments.

I understood why these women were there, what puzzled me was who was paying for their services and why. What appeal could possible lie with these women? How could you derive pleasure from having sex with someone who is so obviously unwell? Street prostitution exists because there is a market for it. Until we understand the minds of the ‘customers’, this is unlikely to change.

There have been two further cases of the brutal murders of women this week. Both the men had prior histories of sexual violence and assault.

For an excellent analysis of these murders and the flaws in a criminal justice system, which is lamentably failing to protect women, click here: